Faith 4 Sale

Surgery!

The Editor — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 15:40:58 +0000

Hi everybody! I got my kidney transplant on April 22! I feel much better already. According to the doctors, I am doing much better than expected, so much so that they are releasing me from the hospital Monday instead of Thursday. I can’t thank my donor enough for, well, saving my life. It is the most amazing gift I have ever received and I will always be indebted to you. The next four months are the tricky part, that is the time frame that most people show signs of acute rejection. If I had to describe how I feel it would be euphoric. I am so excited to finally get on with my life after 3 years of standing still. I have had a few minor complications, my blood count will not stay up no matter how much blood they give me, which is worrisome as it could be an artery that is bleeding. Even that can’t get to me right now though. I feel like a new person. I want to thank everyone for their kindness and support over the past few years. I would not have made it to this point without you.

Vegas

The Editor — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 05:47:14 +0000

The trip to Vegas was fun. I enjoyed seeing Jeannie and Paul again and meeting a new friend, Aaron. Lars did not like Vegas and we both agreed that if I want to go back I’ll be doing it with friends, that’s ok, Vegas isn’t everyone’s scene. I will say that Craftsteak was the best meal of the weekend-everyone agreed to that. I was surprised by how well I could keep up with everything, considering that in less than a month I will be getting transplant surgery.

Speaking of the transplant, I am starting to get nervous. I find out a little more each day as to what exactly is going to happen and its freaking me out. I can’t help but think, “what if this doesn’t work,” or “when will it fail and I have to do this again?’ I have made it successfully this far able to push these thoughts out, but lately they keep coming back stronger each day. I want to think that everything will work out but honestly, we know that just isn’t going to happen, I mean, the transplant could work just fine, but my life is going to always going to suck a little. I’m not complaining, just being realistic. My life is never going to be the way it once was and that is something I just have to accept.

NEWS!!!

The Editor — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 22:45:16 +0000

I am excited and a little nervous to let you know that my transplant date is April 22. Yes, my donor was approved and the date is set. This, and healthcare reform passed yesterday! Both of these things combined make this the happiest Monday of my life. Part of me is really excited because after April 22 this nightmare will FINALLY be over, but another, albeit smaller part, is very anxious. I find the whole idea of transplant surgery a little creepy, but I also understand that I can’t live like this much longer. I’ve already decided what I want as my first post transplant food - a banana milkshake from crown candy. Maureen is gonna make this happen- she told me already- but feel free to bring me one as well, I won’t turn it down:) I will also be taking banana cheesecakes from the cheesecake factory. I will be at Barnes Hospital, but I don’t know the likelihood that I am going to want visitors…some of the meds that they are going to have to give me have some unflattering temporary side effects. I’ll let you know if I’m not completely hideous.

So healthcare reform passed. I’m very excited to see this country move forward. I know its not exactly what us liberals wanted, what with the single-payer option left out, but it is a huge step in the right direction. A lot of people have voiced their concern over the cost of this reform and all I have to say about that is this : Healthcare helps Americans, a war based on imaginary WMD kills Americans. Both of them cost money. The Republicans are very quick to talk about spending although they are the ones who cost this country a trillion dollars fighting an unwarranted war. That’s a trillion dollars without the price of 100k+ human lives. All this aside, I am happy to say that some atrocious industry practices will no longer be permitted.

All in all, I’d say this was a pretty good day.

Redo

The Editor — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:36:52 +0000

I’m thinking of reworking this site- taking it back to the original “faith4sale” idea and then having a category about my health. I really like the idea of exploring and writing about religions from my rather skeptical point of view but I think, with my current situation, its important to let my friends and family stay updated on my health. So I was thinking of redoing the site to include a section called “health” so people that want to read it can, but bringing the main focus back to “faith4sale.” I also want to reorganize the “faith4sale” area so its easier to follow. Thoughts? Any suggestions would be helpful.

New stuff

The Editor — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:58:05 +0000

Hi Everybody! I’m back from my break! While I was gone I got another job, but still no kidney. I am writing at www.reviewstl.com. I have two weekly columns- new music tuesday and throwback thursdays as well as special events and film reviews. Its a lot of fun and I’m pretty excited about it. In my first week at reviewstl I was the most read writer. I’m pretty stoked about that. I am still doing event planning, reviewstl is a second job. Yes, you read that correctly, I have 2 jobs while in kidney failure. Its a little crazy and I know I should be resting, but I figure if anyone knows how short life can be, its me, so I might as well do everything I want now, just in case. The kidney stuff is going, albeit with some delay. I am hoping for the transplant to happen the 2nd week in April if there are no more problems. Its a scary thing and I try not to think about it too much, but as it gets closer I find myself getting more and more nervous. I just hope everything works out. In the end, that is really all that you can do.

On the religion front, I tried to give up beef for Lent. I just wanted to see how hard it was to give up something for 40 days. I lasted until today…I couldn’t resist. It was taco night. Best part is that I’ve got a belly full of tacos and none of the guilt since I’m not actually Catholic. Its a win/win situation:)

…

The Editor — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:12:08 +0000

So…today was not a good day. I found out that my donor may not be able to give me a kidney. He went through the last part of the testing process this morning only to find out that he has kidney stones. If the stones turn out to be acute, then we go ahead with the surgery. If this turns out to be a chronic problem, it’s a no go. I won’t know anything for at least a week, but best case scenario we are looking at the beginning of March, worst case scenario we have to start the testing process all over for someone else. And to think, I was so excited about the ipad this morning…

New Year

The Editor — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:59:03 +0000

Happy New Year! This year started off with a bang. Synergy pulled off a 9 event new years without a hitch. Our first event of the year is a private party to celebrate Whitey Herzog getting inducted into the Hall of Fame. Following this is my surgery in the beginning of February. I will be in New York for a few days in the middle of March working on a project, which always makes me happy as it is my favorite city in the US. Then on to Copenhagen and London. All in all, 2010 is starting off quite nicely.

Over the holidays I got to see Mitch, Gina, Jason and Kai. For Mitch, it had been well over 10 years. The thing I remember about Mitch, and this still holds true, was that he was genuinely kind to everyone, always. Let’s not wait that long to see each other again, ok? Seriously though, it was great to see you all. You have been missed.

2010 comes with the promise of new beginnings, and for me that comes in the form of a new kidney. As of now we are looking at the 2nd week of February for the transplant. As excited as I am at the prospect of getting my life back, I find myself getting more and more apprehensive as time passes. I realize that I don’t really have an option, but I fear that if this operation fails it will take with it the last bit of hope I have left. I know if it fails, that disappointment will be too much for me. The last three years have been…excruciating. My only desire for this year is that one way or another this nightmare is over. For all of you, I wish the best of health, for without it there truly is nothing.

Thanksgiving.

The Editor — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:28:42 +0000

So Thanksgiving is tomorrow. You didn’t really think that you’d get out of reading a thanksgiving post, did you? Oh, you did? Silly rabbit.

My list isn’t long, but I have a lot to be thankful for and topping that list is: I GOT A MOTHERFUCKING KIDNEY! Sorry, I’m a selfish bitch and living makes me happier than anything/anyone else. It is tentative, and barring any complications I should have a functioning transplant early next year. This is still contingent on my potential donor passing a few more tests. So all you people that got tested are still possibly in the running but I am much closer than I have been so I’m happy. Next on this list is my family. My parents, brother and Lars have basically carried my sorry ass through the last three years. I would not be here without your love and support. Words will never be able to express how much you mean to me. Along with my family, I also have the best friends a girl could have. Cesare, Fenik, Kelley, Maureen, Deanna, Maggie, Dave, Kris, Melanie and all the rest of you have at one point or another, knowingly or not, saved my life. There have been countless times that I have felt like giving up and each one of you has reminded me exactly why that is not an option. I could not do it without you. All the people that came out of the woodwork and got tested for me-thank you. Your kindness and love does not go unnoticed. In fact, it has restored my faith in people, something that I had lost long ago. I am excited to see what my new life will bring and I am very grateful to have a chance to spend more time with all of you.

Well, that’s it. Apparently my illness has made me into a sentimental little girl. Who knew?

Highlights.

The Editor — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:16:28 +0000

I have been super, super busy lately. I haven’t had any time to blog and don’t really have the time now. Here are the highlights of what is going on in my life, just to keep you all up to date: 1) The transplant should happen early next year if everything works out as planned. 2) Until then, I will be super busy with Synergy. 3) I still haven’t found a religion I like, but am continuing my search. 4) I am starting a film review site that has been postponed but I will announce it here, on twitter and facebook as soon as it is up and running. 5) GO SEE UP IN THE AIR. 6) Do NOT see New Moon. (Saw it at the press screening, wanted to shoot myself in the face from beginning to end.) 7) I hope to write a new “real” blog post as soon as I have a moment to do so.

Rocking.

The Editor — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 01:37:05 +0000

I have been gone for two weeks and while I was hoping to report that the fear and loathing would have left me by now, I can’t. I still have it. The good thing is that October and November are so busy that I have no time to indulge the fear and loathing with hot sauce. This month alone, I have fashion week, an event in New York, and Curiosity. That’s added to the normal events. Other than that I am about to launch a new website. It has been delayed for a bit due to technical difficulties, but needs to be up no later than the end of the month. More on that in the coming week. As for religion-I’m still meditating on Buddism. I WILL be back next week. That’s a promise. Fear and loathing be damned.